Handling Criticism

One way of suffering for Christ is bearing unjustified criticism.

Every servant of the Lord will face it from time to time. Moses was one of the greatest leaders, yet he was criticised: But the people thirsted there for water, and the people grumbled against Moses and said, “Why did you bring us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?” (Ex 17:3). Our Lord also faced criticism, even from His own disciples: But He was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mark 4:37-38).

What is criticism?

Criticism comes from the Greek word for judge. To criticize therefore means to judge. The people of Israel judged Moses’ motives for leading them out of Egypt: You did this to kill us! The disciples judged the behaviour of Jesus. Do You not care that we are perishing? Criticism uses accusations and assumptions, sometimes false ones, and it often goes together with hostility.

What should our initial reaction be when we are criticised?

Moses cried out to the LORD (Ex 17:4). God never refuses to accept full responsibility for whatever happens to us as a result of our ministry. He helped Moses and showed him the way out of his difficulties. He is willing to do the same for us! – Jesus didn’t say anything to the disciples in that moment. One cannot start a meaningful discussion with people who are full of fear. Jesus first calmed the storm and only later talked to them about their fear and the real cause of it, namely unbelief. Sometimes it is best to be silent, and if possible, remove the immediate cause of the criticism. And when they feel at ease again, we can talk about what caused them to criticise us.

How do we handle criticism wisely?

Try to find out the root of the criticism. In Ex 17 the root was lack of water. In Mark 4 the root was fear of dying in the storm. Lacking something that people feel is important for them or fear of something are often what makes people criticise. Notice that in both cases they didn’t say what they were missing or were afraid of. They actually said something else! When we are criticized let’s try to find out: What is the real message behind the words? Are they lacking something? Are they afraid of something? And another more difficult question is: Are they right? In nearly every criticism there is a grain of truth. If we know already that they are right, it will ease the situation, if we admit: You are right! Or, this aspect of your criticism is correct! Forgive me! It may not be easy, but if we are honest, it’s very effective. 

Let us be thankful for criticism! Nothing helps us to learn and change more than criticism. We should be worried, if nobody criticises us. People may have given up hope that we will change. Corrie ten Boom said: Your critics are the guardians of your soul! Even if our critics do not intend to guard our soul, God uses their criticism to do that very thing in our lives!